30 Days of Giving Thanks: Day 5 ♥

Day 5:   Eyesight, Progress & Tripods.

I am very thankful that for these past few months my hands do not shake nearly as much as they used to.  The affects of Graves has really done a number on my body, confidence, security and ability to work & earn a decent living.  Slowly & by the grace of God and my own God-given ability to want to get better~ I have slowed down the process and reversed some of the affects of this debilitating disease.  The most devastating  consequence of this disease, to me anyway is the uncontrollable hand tremors.  It's not only extremely annoying but also very depressing as well as embarrassing.  I know that sounds so ridiculous considering there are far worse physical consequences of this disease, the very worse scenario being  DEATH [yes one can die from Graves]  .......but I hate when other people happen to notice my hands shaking & happen to insist on commenting.

Much of the time people assume that I am a very high strung or nervous person [which admittedly I am...but not to the extreme~ Graves speeds the heart rate and so it may appear that persons with this disease are full of healthy energy...on the contrary the fast paced heart rate can literally kill a person & cause a heart attack].   I am exhausted much of the time...even when it appears that I am full of energy and ready to rock-n-roll, I really just want to collapse and sleep forever.  It doesn't help that in my particular case, my eyes have been affected in a physical way and they have a 'popped out' appearance to them~ That just adds to the whole 'crazed' look as I like to refer  it. hahahahhaa

I have been rudely asked just how many cups of coffee I drink in one day.  * chuckle, chuckle*  People have mentioned to me how I should try to relax and calm down. [yeah OK...if I get any more relaxed I'll be dead!]    Much of the time I take these comments with a grain of salt because most people never stop to consider that perhaps there are other reason why a person may display unusual symptoms & are not at all waiting for any kind of comments from perfect strangers.   Quite frankly, it's none of their business...but they don't seem to understand that at all.   So I let it go much of the time.  On occasion though, I have responded with a quick &  not so nice lesson on the etiquette of making conversation with a stranger.  Which incidentally doesn't include mentions of things that are none of their business.  :/  I know that is not nice...and I try very hard to be nice no matter what.  Some days though I literally feel as though I am losing my mind.  [an additional symptom of Graves]   Everyone should really watch out on those kinds of days. hahahaha.  I can get  very bitchy a  little cranky and take everything very personally.  I know it's my own problem...but if you step into my bees knees it will become yours as well.  Trust me, you don't want any part of that. hahahahahaha ...no but seriously...you don't :]~

I was stopped one day at the grocery store by a woman who felt a need to warn me to stay out of the sun because she noticed a rash on my neck [sunburn-like rashes are another lovely affect of Graves].  I thanked her and continued to shop a little more aware of the rash spreading up my neck.  [Thanks kind shopper, I really needed and appreciated your concern.]  FYI: at the time I worked in-doors about 80 hours per week...so finding any time to sit in the sun was virtually impossible. I think that fact alone bothered me more than the ridiculous assumption and comment by a total stranger.  Ha!   I should mention here that I did have ONE positive and kind encounter with a total stranger who whispered her concern for me as though it was the biggest secret ever told.  :]  She wanted to ask me if I had sought medical help for my Graves disease.  WOW!  A perfect stranger diagnosed me quicker than the 50 doctors I had previously been seen by over the years who had absolutely no clue what was causing all of my unusual symptoms.  I basically diagnosed myself and asked for a thyroid test.  Which of course came back positive.  No big surprise here.  ô¿ô   I am still very thankful for that kind stranger.  I could have hugged her! Her kindness and concern still makes me smile to this day.  See just one person can make or break your day with just one action or word.  Chose them wisely.     WOW!  Is all I can say about that!!!!!


Speaking of hand tremors....it's a little difficult to realize my dream of becoming a Pro Photographer~ all the education and practice in the world will not cure me of the shakes~ Thank God for Tripods!  They have saved my dream career!  For all the times the tremors rear their ugly heads ....I opt for the tripod & continue to shoot...and will do so for as long as I am physically capable.  God Willing. It makes it a little more difficult to have to stop and set up the pod before shooting, but either do that or quit....those are my options & I am not a quitter~ Which I am thankful for as well.  The upside is I have invented some pretty amazing & useful tricks to get around the hand shakes....I will save all that for another blog :]


This blog post is totally about giving thanks...I never intended to go off on a tantrum..but I must admit, I feel so much better getting some of that off my chest! Hahaha.  Must be having one of those crazy days.

Yes, I am very Thankful that I still can see & my eyesight has not gotten any worse since the last time I went for a check.  Thank God!!!!   While I am finding it very difficult to drive and no longer able to drive at night when it's dark.  [found this out the hard way when I almost drove over an unsuspecting pedestrian]   I am so thankful for the progress I have made within the last year or so.  All of the healthy and positive lifestyle changes have really helped me to stall the process of Graves as well as just feel and look so much better.  I have a better attitude and outlook on life.  I can handle stress a little better.   As mentioned in other posts, I work out regularly, eat healthy and take fantastic care of myself. I don't overwork myself & I pay myself what I know I am worth...which is a lot! hahahahaa .  I have lived my life on both sides of the spectrum ...which comes in handy when giving advice:   I can assure you that the healthier side is where it's at & where you want to be!!! 


I spend a little more time on ME doing ME and enjoying ME.    I no longer smoke nor do I drink alcohol or caffeine, ever.  I am very conscious & aware of every single thing I put into my body & without preaching too much....I have eliminated many diet food options that I used to love so much  & replaced them with better & more tasty alternatives that I LOVE even more now & that are so much better for me. [maybe eventually I'll post up some healthy recipes~won't that be fun!?! hahahahaa]      .  I want to live the rest of my long  life a healthy & happy person....That is what I wish to do....and that is what I intend to do...and that is what I WILL do because I am worth the effort.  & so are YOU!  You should know that and believe it!  God doesn't make mistakes!  Take care of what you have now so that you can continue to live vs. exist.  Doesn't matter how far down the path of self destruction you are~ as long as there is breath in your lungs it is not too late to change and become a better & healthier YOU! 

Until we meet again...Day 6.....tomorrow......

Have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening depending on where you happen to be in this great big wonderful world.

Love,

K.