Day 8; [Not So] Black & White:

Excuse me while I [Expose] myself.  That is on the [Expose] Yourself Project fb Wall.  :]
Today I posted up my finished project, although it was not really complete because it just seemed so long for fb.  & so you know what that means dontcha?!  That's right, I will post my project in its entirety here on my blog~just in case anyone wants to read my lengthy poem that goes along with my fantastic images.  (ok, Im pushing it...I know.  I'll stop now).

My Life is not only Black & White...it is colored with emotion, pain....feeling...experiencing...spectating and participating in this wonderful thing we call LIFE.   There are definite aspects to me that simply stated are just "Whatcha See is whatcha get"  I'm me. I don't try to pretend to be anyone but me.  I am a leader and not so much a follower. I follow my own heart....sing my own tunes and make up the words as I go..... I dance to my own drummer & I am the type of person who will say whats on my mind when I feel I should...and sometimes when I probably shouldn't.  :/  

 Part of  me I hide in the shadows of self doubt and insecurities

Not always intentionally....But self doubt rears it's ugly head more than I would care to admit

I am a work in progress

*My artsy fartsy self portrait shot especially for this project.

At the age of 47  I find myself

ever growing

always reaching

forever striving for security and peace within my own skin

This was not a serious shot at all! I was in the salon having my hur did and took this to make my sister, who was there with me. laugh...which of course she did.  Coz we are fun that way. hahahaha.  It worked for this project so Ive included it.  Taadaaaa! :]

I am continually learning new ways to love & appreciate my  life as it is and acceptance of the things that I can not alone change.  I have learned to pray.... a lot for everything that I need or want because I know that God is listening.  I did not always know this.  To me it is a great comfort and helps me to relax with the knowledge that my life is in the hands of my creator who just happens to think I am pretty awesome just as I am...because God NEVER makes mistakes.  God loves all of his creations.  ♥

(Shot this image at a 50th birthday bash for my sister-in-law. )

occasionally, like many,  I fall into dark recesses within my own mind where all of my baggage from this life is stored away.     I do not like nor wish to visit this place very often.  It is at these times that I feel panicked & trapped & sometimes struggle in finding my way back to the light of day.
But I do. Eventually. 

Shooting in RI..2010

where I am able to once again discover a little more about who I am & enjoy the passions in my life.  Most of the time though I am happy and content & do not think about the unpleasant stuff...even if that means I must remind myself not to be dragged down.  I try hard not to think about the dark days and stay in the moment where I am safe...In the warmth & light where I bask ....content.

a safe distance from the demons past & present

where I am showered with light upon my soul

revealing interest & depth in its wake

Road Trip to NC. 2010

I welcome these shadows of my being no matter how unkind or scary they may be or seem at the time.....as unwanted as they are

as I reflect upon that light that illuminates those dark hidden places I am grateful to God.

I am not at all just or only or even
black and white
but rather a complexity of Contradictions
& commonalities alike. I am every shade of and in between the two....and then some

Road Trip to Carolina with my sister, Regina.  So much fun!!

I am a rainbow
Multi-faceted
& Interesting
Rich and colorful 

Mutunuck Beach. RI. 2010

I am
a beating heart
a racing pulse
a quiet mind
a daring soul 

 I am a Daughter

My Mother, Siblings and I around the age of 2yr.  I'm the fat round one in the front with the funny looking hat...no, not that one, she's my mother! ... lol.....the short round one on your right. :]  Yep that's me...before I grew looks. :]

 

Wife 

The Hubs & Love of my Life~Not a willing participant in my photo obsessed shoot outs.  But I take what I can get. :]

'Pieces of Him' ♥ such a handsome guy. I love him.

 

Mother

My Lovely Children ♥ They're so beautiful. I love them too

 

Grandma♥

♥ These two adorables. With all of my heart~They are the BEST! & it's not only because I am their Gramma ...If you met them, you would feel the same way. These kids ROCK the FUN!

 

Sister, Cousin & friend. 

My Sisters and I 1967 or thereabout Love them both so much. We get one another in ways that no one in this world could ever know or understand.  God was good to me giving me the gift of my sisters.  They are not only my sisters...but my friends and confidants...they are wonderful  insightful, funny, intelligent and kind human beings and I feel blessed to know them both & after everything...no matter what...I still have them in my life.

 

I am an ever present participant and lover of life, I am an artists, dreamer, believer of God and everything good & beautiful in this world. I am a giver & positive energy.  I am all of these things and more. I am not nearly black or  white or even in between.... but every color ever [& never] imagined..... I am ME. ♥K.

Finished Project